


ByStander Effect

by ChromeKingdom



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27810649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromeKingdom/pseuds/ChromeKingdom
Summary: The bystander effect is the greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is for any one of them to provide help to a person in distress. When Riku finds a girl bleeding to death alone in a parking lot, he accidentally becomes her fake boyfriend so she isn't alone and falls in love with her in her hospital room. What will he do when she wakes up?
Relationships: Naminé/Riku (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 27





	1. Meeting Across the Bar

Riku was trailing his friends into the bar, it was a Friday night in Radiant Garden. Their usual bar wasn’t overly crowded but you were likely to brush a few elbows as you passed by. 

It was all by chance, he walked past her booth seemingly only giving her a passing glance. She had been facing the door he had just entered, allowing him to see all of her faces. 

Seconds felt slower as he looked at her, her blonde hair was tucked over one shoulder and her lips curled softly into a polite smile. He returned the gesture. 

The moment ended when he had passed her booth, he turned his head back slightly to see she saw sat across from a man, clearly, she was on a date. 

He hoped she wasn’t.

Riku sat with his friends and they talked and joked, but Riku’s eyes kept drifting to where she sat. He could only see the top of her head, but he couldn’t stop himself from looking at her.

“Riku, what about you?” Sora asked him from across the table, making Riku finally bring his focus back to the group.

“No idea,” Riku says easily, as he looked at his friends. These were his childhood friends Sora and Kairi, they’d grown up together and moved out to Radiant Garden for college and ever left. 

Sora and Riku both worked for the same company, Riku being a finance analyst and Sora being a marketing lead for the royal crown. While Kairi was still finishing up her medical degree. 

“He wasn’t listening” Kairi laughed as she brought a glass to her lips. Riku looked to the tabletop as he finished his drink and the friends laughed at his apparent absent-mindedness. 

“You are always daydreaming,” Kairi says with a smile, as they continue talking.

His eyes drifted back to the girl, searching for the top of her head over the booth wall only to find her absent from her seat, he quickly scanned the room and saw her standing at the bar talking to the bartender. 

Riku could now see she was wearing a simple dress that seemed almost too big on her, she was slim and quite short. The angle of where he was sitting let him see her talking, the smile that spread across her face as the joke the bartender told her. 

Riku went to drink from his glass, realizing it was already empty. 

“I’m gonna get another” Riku said hurriedly, he was trying to run into the girl if only to hear her voice. Leaving both Sora and Kairi confused at his sudden movement. 

She was leaning against the bar as Riku approached, she turned her head to see who had approached the bar and once again smiled at him, he returned it easily. 

“Two Sea-Salts,” The bartender says handing the glasses to the blonde, as she went to grab it, her wallet slipped from her fingers.

“Damn,” She says softly moving to put a drink back on the bar.

“I got it,” Riku said quickly as he leaned down to pick her up the wallet and handed it to her. 

“Thank you,” She says, her smile no longer polite, a genuine smile on her lips. Riku felt almost dizzy from it.

She grabbed her drinks and was back at her booth, the man smiling at her, and the warm smile that was given to Riku was now given to the man she was with. She sat and her hand brushed the man’s hand, their fingers locking lazily. 

Definitely on a date. 

Riku’s smile faded a bit leaving only a ghost of one on his lips, he was disappointed but just seeing her had been something.

Riku returned to his friends and tried not to look at her for the rest of the night, his effort wasn’t fruitful as he kept sneaking glances at her.

He saw her leave, her golden hair swept over her shoulder, and watched as her date put an arm around her. The bar was thinning out as the night grew longer and the cold outside grew harsher.

Riku smiled as she left, she was laughing at something her date had said, she was stunning. She was in good spirits, and his heart felt so heavy at the idea she was leaving but also so light from seeing her so happy. 

An hour or two passed before the trio called it quits for the night. The night had felt like such a dream, and with her gone Riku was back to reality. 

“Sora, you want a lift?” Riku asked as he got his coat onto his shoulders and watched the pair in front of him arguing about something or another about the blitz ball game they had all been watching. 

“Yeah, Kai you’ve got class early tomorrow right?” Sora asked and the redhead nodded as she wrapped a scarf around her neck. 

“Yes, we are studying for our practicals next week, so we are gonna be up at dawn” She joked.

The group walked out and parted ways with Kairi at her car, and the two boys started to walk to Riku’s car.

“I can’t believe Tidus almost lost the match for us tonight, he is usually so much better” Sora commented on the blitz ball game that had been on that night at the bar. 

“He was off for a while since his wife had the kid, I imagine he wasn’t practicing all that much,” Riku said and Sora groaned, in annoyance.

“But I just think that-” Sora started but stopped when a horrible noise came from behind a row of cars. 

“Oh kingdoms, what was that?” Sora asked as he stopped walking, looking to where they heard the sound. 

The sound was low and gurgling. Like someone trying to take a deep breath with water in their mouth. It was a horrible thing to hear. 

“I bet someone hit a dog or something,” Riku said as he too went to where the sound came from, behind a row of cars near the back wall, and there she was. 

Her blonde hair haloed on the ground, no longer over her shoulder. Her lips were pale and chapped, her skin had an unnatural shade of blue settled on it, her dress was covered in blood. She was covered in blood, specks on it on her cheeks and in her hair. 

The sound was coming from her, as she tried to breathe, her hands were shaking as she held her midsection, the blood was everywhere pooling underneath her. 

“Oh my god,” Sora said as he quickly was at her side, and put his hands on her midsection trying to stop the blood from leaving her body any more than it already had.

“She is bleeding too much, we need to get her to a hospital,” Sora said as the blood seeped through the gap of his fingers. Sora started to grab her arms to move her. 

“Don’t move her! We don’t know what happened. I’m calling 9-1-1,” Riku said quickly pulling out his phone, he felt so numb as he dialed. 

Sora had his hands on her stomach, he could feel how cold her skin was and how hot the blood was. His knees were sticky from where it had started to pool under her. Her eyes were opened barely as she looked straight to the sky above her. 

Sora could hear Riku talking to the 9-1-1 line, giving them the address and the situation. 

Riku moved to kneel by her head, as he checked for a pulse on her neck. 

“She is alive, I can feel her pulse,” Riku says into the phone, his shaking fingers touching her cold skin. 

“Don’t worry they will be here soon” Riku said whether to her, Sora, or himself it wasn’t clear. Riku’s hands stroked her hair as he spoke, and he looked to Sora who had tears on his cheeks. 

“What is her name?” The dispatch officer asked and Riku quickly grabbed the purse that laid next to the woman, the same one he had picked up earlier in the night. 

He opened it and pulled out her id card, her blonde hair had been shorter when the picture was taken, she had a small smile on her face. 

“Her name is Namine Leer, she is twenty-two,” Riku said quickly, Sora was looking to him and back to the girl, Namine. 

“Riku, I think she passed out,” Sora said his tone fearfully, and Riku looked to her face, her blueish hue was worse and her eyes were no longer looking to the sky, they were closed, her face looked as if she was sleeping. 

“We think she passed out,” Riku said quickly into the phone, his tone jumpy and filled with fear. 

“I need you both to apply pressure to stop the bleeding,” The phone says as Riku fumbles with it and puts it on speaker, and putting it on the ground next to the three of them. 

The ambulance would be there within minutes, but time seemed so slow. Both men were now holding her stomach as no matter what they did she just kept bleeding. The dispatch told them to just hang on and keep applying pressure. 

The sound of the ambulance was not a relief, as the medics piled out of the car and Riku yelled for them to help her. The medics cramped into the small space behind the cars and replaced Sora and Riku, when they moved her onto the stretched her eyes flashed open, the pain shot through her features and she made another loud horrible sounding gasp. 

Riku was where her eyes landed, and again time slowed as it had in the bar when he first saw her, her soft polite smile replaced with tearful eyes and blood-smeared cheeks. 

The medics moved her to the ambulance, Riku hadn’t even realized he was following the stretcher until she was being loaded and her eyes fell closed again. The moment was gone, time sped back up. He felt he could breathe a little better. 

“Buddy, are you coming with your girlfriend or not?” A medical asked hurriedly, as he closed one of the doors leaving the other open for Riku to get inside. Riku froze unsure what to say. 

“Go, she shouldn’t be alone,” Sora says to him, the brunette was covered in blood, his knees soaked red and his shirt and hands discolored with it. He had his arms wrapped around himself, the shock of the events having set in. The panic and fear in Sora’s eyes no doubt reflected Riku’s.

Riku gets into the ambulance without a word.

They are moving fast weaving in and out of traffic, the sound of the siren was deafening from inside of the ambulance, the medics asked him questions and Riku had no answers. He could only stare at the blonde, under the bright lights he saw how truly dead she looked. 

Her skin was sickly and with shades of grey and blue, Riku felt sick. His heart was racing and the air around him felt thinner and thinner.

“What happened?” The medic asked and Riku started to hyperventilate. 

“I don’t... I don’t know, she was just on the ground...” Riku said as he started to feel his chest grow tighter the more he looked at the girl that was dying in front of him. 

“Sir, you are in shock, I need you to take some deep breaths and try to tell me what happened,” The medic said steadily as he did various things for the girl in front of him, Riku looked to the heart monitor and saw that her heart rate was dropping.

The beeping started and the medics went into action calling out various things to the rest of the team, and the medic sat next to Riku started to give assistance rather than asking him questions about the girl he didn’t actually know.

“She’s not gonna die,” Riku said out loud again more for himself than anyone else. 

“We will do everything we can for her,” One medic said giving Riku a smile laced with pity. 

The hospital was chaotic, things were happening quickly as soon as she was out of the ambulance and headed into the hospital. 

“What happened?” A doctor asked the paramedic, as they motioned for Riku to follow someone else, but he didn’t move, he watched them start to take the girl into what looked like a large room.

“Twenty-two-year-old female presents with at least seven stab wounds” That was all Riku caught before he threw up over the edge of the ambulance, he had his head between his legs the stress of the situation getting to him. 

“Who the hell is he?” The doctor asked, looking to Riku in his shell shocked state.

“That’s her boyfriend, he saved her life,” The medic says, and Riku felt like ice water had been thrown on him.


	2. A Role to Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to all! Remember this season that kindness and gratitude can often go further than gifts. 
> 
> Chapter three will be up in early January!

The hospital smelt of Lysol and mildew. Riku held a cold cup of coffee in his hands as he stared at the walls. Pictures of flowers and other mundane things hung along the walls around the waiting room, the hospital probably put them up to make people feel more comfortable in a room where they all sat waiting hoping for the best but fearing for the worst. 

People were sitting and pacing the waiting room, others were crying, and some simply sitting and waiting like he was. All of these people had a connection to who they were waiting for, he didn’t. He didn’t know anything about Namine. 

Riku felt sick, sick to his stomach, and sick in the head. 

It had been four hours since they had brought her in, it was almost five in the morning now. The clock on the wall was the only thing telling Riku time was passing, he felt so numb. 

He laced and unlaced his fingers nervously staring at the framed pitcher of flowers. 

Her blood was still under his nails. 

The staff had given him new clothes and were updating him on his ‘girlfriend’. He knew it was wrong to lie. He really did, but he didn’t want her to be alone. 

When he had first been sat in the waiting room a nurse had approached him asking for information about Namine, Riku lied and said they had only been dating for a few months, and that was why he didn’t know much about her. 

They pulled her medical records and she had no family or no emergency contacts listed with her insurance. 

She was in surgery, and the only person she had waiting for her was someone she didn’t even know. 

Riku could see his faint reflection in the glass of frame, he could see the uneasy face he was showing to the world. Those ugly framed flowers didn’t make him feel calm. 

Her blood was still in his hair.

Anytime the doors opened he would look and hope it was someone asking for Namine, asking for their loved one, their daughter, their sister, or even their friend. 

No one came for her. 

More time ticked away, as Riku waited for a girl he didn’t know. 

At six the intern that had previously updated Riku re-emerged from the medical doors, but this time she had a doctor walking a few steps behind her. Both were wearing surgical scrubs and the doctor looked tired. 

“She is out of surgery, it went very well,” The intern says with a smile, it was good news, yet it didn’t relieve Riku. His eyes darted back to the main doors, hoping anyone would walk in. Nobody did.

“Your girlfriend experienced heavy laceration to her midsection mainly her intensities, and a major concussion from what we assume was her head hitting the cement.” The doctor said sitting in front of the ugly flowers Riku had been staring at. 

The doctor’s words hung in the air for a few beats. The doctor probably assumed Riku was trying to process, but Riku was unable to speak due to his mind imagining her falling to the ground and being attacked. The image of Namine being attacked grew like black mold in his brain. When the doctor realized Riku wasn’t going to say anything he continued on. 

“Again, the surgery went well, we were able to repair her intestines, we gave her a colostomy bag which will take the stress off her intestines and allow for them to heal over time” The doctor continues. Riku could only nod. 

“She’s fine then, right?” Riku asked, his voice was timid and fearful, he didn’t know what to say or how to react. The black mold was growing rapidly in his mind. 

The doctor sucked on his teeth for a second and nodded to himself. 

“Her brain swelled causing some damage, we will know the extent of the damage if and when she wakes up,” The doctor says, his hands lacing together as if bracing himself for Riku to have a bad reaction to yell and scream or cry.

A few more beats pass, and Riku hasn’t said a word. The black mold in Riku’s brain shifted from her being attacked, to her dying in a hospital with only him for comfort. A stranger. 

“Do you have any questions?” The doctor asked after a few beats had passed and Riku was sitting, trying to absorb the information and trying to ignore the dark fears his mind was projecting to him. 

“No,” Riku says, barely getting the words out, as he bounded his knee and pulled at his nails and his eyes were on the front doors. He was praying for someone to show up, anyone. 

“Would you like to see her?” The intern asked, trying to pull his attention back to them and away from the front doors. 

“Am I allowed back there?” He asked, he wasn’t her family, he wasn’t her husband or fiancé, he was just pretending to be her boyfriend. 

The intern looked to the doctor and the doctor nodded. 

“Of course,” The doctor says as the intern then leads Riku to where Namine is.

The intern didn’t speak but as she escorted him to where Namine’s room was, he was glad as he didn’t know if he could have spoken. 

She was laying in a hospital bed, tubes and wires attached to her. They had washed her clean of all the blood and smeared makeup leaving her skin pale but more lively looking than the blue hue her skin had in the parking lot. She looked so very small, the bed swallowed her, they had a blue blanket draped over her, the blanket stopped just above her hips. 

“Will she wake up? She was looking right at me before they put her in the ambulance” Riku says softly as he walks up to her bed, his hand going to steady himself on the railing of her bed. 

“Brain injuries are tricky, only time will tell. You got to her in time. She is alive because of you and your friend” The intern reassured him, Riku nods, feeling the tears slip down his cheeks. 

Riku stays with her all day. 

When a nurse comes in and says visiting hours are ending in a few minutes, he feels rooted to the spot. Afraid if he leaves she will wake up alone. He could still picture her pain filled eyes almost begging him for help when they had moved her to the ambulance. The memory was haunting. 

Riku goes to move, getting up from the chair, he stands next to her bed staring at her hands.. His fingers softly brushed hers, she wasn’t cold anymore. His hand retreats from hers, it felt wrong to touch her. Everything about what he was doing felt wrong, yet he couldn’t get his feet to move. He was stuck. 

-

Riku was pacing his apartment, Sora was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. 

“You told them you were her boyfriend,” Sora said his voice giving way to how insane he thought the situation was. 

“Not in so many words, they assumed and I - I didn’t say I wasn’t,” Riku said as he continued to pace, by this rate he would leave track marks on the floor. 

“They just assumed? Doesn’t a hospital have to be sure and have permission for you to even see her since you aren’t her family? Where was her family?” Sora asked confused and slightly outraged at how trusting the hospital was.

“They pulled her file and she was a foster kid, she didn’t have anyone put down as her emergency contact, she was… alone” Riku finished, and sat on the couch next to Sora with a huff and rubbed his temple with one hand. 

“I couldn’t leave her alone, Sora, I just couldn't,” Riku admits. The images of her covered in blood and struggling to breathe were glued inside his eyelids, flooding to his mind anytime he closed his eyes, the black mold was invading every aspect of him. 

“What are you gonna do when she wakes up?” Sora muttered, Riku hadn’t been alone in the horrors of the night passed, Sora still could feel the echoes of her blood pushing through his fingers as they tried to keep her alive. 

“If she wakes up, her brain swelled during surgery. It is complicated. They used a lot of medical terms, but she is asleep and they are hoping she will wake up, but they don’t know” Riku says, letting out a deep breath.

Sora nodded.

“She shouldn’t be alone,” Riku says, an echo of what Sora had said to get Riku into the ambulance. Sora felt sick at the idea of her dying alone in a parking lot, and he felt equally sick at the idea she would die alone in a hospital. 

“I want to be there for her, someone should be there for her” Riku says, Sora doesn’t say a word just nods along.

Sora wondered if the reason justified lying, but he kept silent. He already knew Riku’s mind was made up. 

_  
He comes to the next visiting hours. 

He doesn’t really know what to do with himself, he sits next to her bed and just watches her and watches the door. His leg bouncing almost as fast as his heart beat. 

The nurses come in often to check on Namine, they greet him and try to make small talk, but Riku keeps quiet nodding and answering little questions here and there. 

He took a full week off of work to just sit with her, he felt guilty anytime he left the room. He would feel like her blood was still stuck to his hands. Then he would look at her and see her breathing and the feeling would fade away the darkness in his mind receded.

He felt responsible for her. He knew it was irrational, but the ‘what ifs’ ran wild through his mind. What if he had talked to her at the bar? What if he had stopped her from leaving? If he had maybe none of this would have happened to her. 

The lying became easier. 

“Good morning Riku,” Nurse Fauna says as Riku walks down the hall towards Namine’s room. This was the third day since the incident. Three days nobody had come for her. 

“Good morning,” Riku says politely as he passes Nurse Fauna, she was one of the many on rotation for Namine. He had learned the main three nurses names Nurse Flora, Nurse Fauna, and Nurse Merryweather. They checked on Namine every hour or so, meaning Riku saw them a lot. 

“Anything change?” Riku asked as nurse Fauna followed him to Namine’s room, her green earrings swinging as she walked to catch up with Riku. A sad smile spread across her face at his question. 

“Nothing yet, but it is still early,” She says reassuring him, Riku nods and goes to his chair setting his bag on the floor. Taking his seat he pulls out his phone trying to avoid talking to the nurse. Fauna and Merryweather were big talkers and he tried his best to avoid talking too much.

Fauna is checking Namine but sneaking glances at Riku, he can feel it even though he is looking at his phone. His eyes flicker up at the nurse and she is indeed looking at him.

“I’ve had a lot of patients in her condition before, brain injuries are pretty common. A lot of families will play music they like, read books from their childhood, or just talk to them. We aren’t even sure if they can really hear it, but I think it does some good” She says, Riku nods. 

“For her or for me?” Riku asked, Nurse Fauna cracked a smile letting a small laugh out.

“Hopefully both” She says with a sly smile, as she heads out of the room. Her comment was made to give comfort but all it did was fill Riku with guilt. 

Riku looked to Namine, the only movement, the soft rising and falling of her chest. The nurse words twisted in his mind, He didn’t even know what music she liked, or her favorite books, he didn’t know anything about her. He imagined talking to her as she currently was would feel like talking to a brick wall, there was truly nothing that connected them, nothing except his imagination. 

Later that day after he was politely told visiting hours were ending, he was driving home and at a stop light his eyes found a bookstore. He was walking into the store before he really registered what he was doing. The shelves were full of books of all various colors and sizes. 

There was a display of popular books that Riku eventually ended up at, he grabbed a few books. He could imagine Namine sitting in one of those oversized reading chairs in a coffee shop curled around a book. He smiled.

Riku sat with one of the books in his hands, the hospital room felt heavy. The feeling that you only get when you've been brushed by death. Riku laced and unlaced his fingers a few times. 

The steady noise of the machines was interrupted by his voice. Riku read the first few words of the book aloud, then looked to Namine. She of course didn’t move.

The read a few more lines, the tension he always carried when he sat with her melted away a bit. He relaxed a bit into the chair and continued reading. 

Nurse Fauna walked by and heard Riku reading to his girlfriend and she smiled. 

It was day six, six days since the girl in the bar became Namine, the girl who almost died. 

The last few days Riku had been reading to her, it was awkward and unfamiliar at first. Speaking aloud in a room and the only response being the beeps of her machines. It gave him something to do with their time together apart from just staring at her. It was almost nice. 

"Life is not a series of isolated ponds & puddles; life is this river you see below, before you. It flows from the past through the present on it's way to the future.” Riku read aloud, his eyes drifting to Namine’s seemingly sleeping face. 

“Still reading I see” Nurse Flora comments as she is walking in. Nurse Flora is older, maybe Riku’s mother’s age. She exudes the wisdom only a mother knows. 

“Yeah, we are almost done with it now,” Riku says smiling looking at Namine, his hand reaching for the generously provided but terrible coffee only found in hospitals. 

“Has she ever read it before?” Nurse Flora continued as she started to take down numbers into Namine’s chart. 

“I don’t know. I imagine she bought it and never got around to reading it” Riku says, the lying was much easier now, he would say the truth for the most part and let them assume the rest. Over the last few days, he had built a relationship between them in his mind. 

He imagined her to be kind, but forgetful. That she would brew coffee and forget all about it as she started something else, or that she would buy books only to forget all about them. She was playful and made jokes that Riku would pretend he thought were funny to see her smile. 

He imagined they were perfect together. 

“I do that too, never can find the time to sit down and read like when I was younger,” Flora says, the light conversation making the hospital room feel a little less oppressing.

“Does she read often?” Nurse Flora asked, and Riku thought for a moment. 

“I like to think she means to read more, but who actually knows,” Riku says, his fingers nervously running along the spine of the book. 

Flora laughed and nodded, telling Riku she would be back in a few hours. Riku can only nod watching her leave the room, and the noise of the beeping again fills the room, the sound was making Riku’s mind ache a bit. 

He moves to take another drink of his coffee when the door swings back open, the sound of it hitting the wall behind breaking the rhythmic sound of the beeping. Riku nearly chokes on his coffee.

A tall woman with bright blue hair stood in the doorway, the older nurse right behind her.

“Ma’am! You can not be in here!” Nurse Merryweather yelled out trying to get the woman out of the room, but where Nurse Merryweather was short and round, the woman that had entered Namine’s room was neither and easily evaded her. 

“Oh my god… Namine” The blue-haired woman says going to Namine’s side and holding her hand with no fear. 

“Ma’am!” Nurse Merryweather tried again, but the blue-haired woman was now looking at Riku. Her eyes filled with anger. 

“Who the fuck are you?” She said with venom dripping from her words, Riku was coughing from choking on his coffee at the sudden events. 

“That is her boyfriend, he is one of the good ones around here, I won’t have you speaking to her visitors in this manor” Nurse Merryweather said, coming to Riku’s defense. Riku coughed a few times more and nodded his head. 

The woman relaxed quickly and nodded. 

“Ma’am, you really can’t be in here until the staff adds you to the visitor lists,” Nurse Merryweather says again, walking closer to the woman but the blue-haired woman sits on Namine’s bed holding one of her hands. 

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m Aqua, this is my sister,” She says firmly, Riku can see all the emotions locked in her eyes. 

Merryweather stops and looks at Riku as if he is supposed to confirm the relationship. 

“I didn’t know she had a sister” Riku admits, and Aqua looks to him and Aqua says if they pull Namine’s old insurance back when she was still in the foster home they will see they were on the same plan. 

The nurse huffs and starts to demand Aqua follow her until they can verify who she is, but Riku speaks up.

“I’ll be here, it’s fine, ” Riku says and Nurse Merryweather looks at Riku having reservations about leaving just anyone in an ICU patient’s room, but she nods hesitantly. Huffing as she exits the room, leaving the door open. 

Once the nurse leaves the beep of the machines starts to fill the room again, they don’t speak. Riku is watching her closely, watching how Aqua is cradling Namine’s hand in hers. The woman looks awful like she hasn’t slept in days, she is shaking a bit, biting her lip. Riku can tell she is hoping back tears.

That’s what someone looks like when someone they love is hurt. Riku wonders what had looked like when they had brought her in, did he look that … broken. 

Merryweather returns and gives Aqua a visitor’s sticker and confirms that they were foster sisters. Nurse Merryweather also reminds Aqua that visiting hours end at five today. 

Riku felt like he was nearly drowning in the tension in the room, he was waiting for Aqua to speak though he realized it might be a long wait.

When Riku moved to throw away his empty coffee cup is when she finally spoke to him. 

“I didn’t know Namine was seeing anyone...” She says softly as she is stroking Namine’s hair, Riku doesn’t know what to say. 

In an effort to not expose himself, he says nothing. 

“We haven’t talked in a long time…” She continues and the tears do slip down her cheeks. 

Riku felt so out of place, in the middle of a vulnerable moment between two sisters. 

“When she wakes up you could always change that” Riku offers as he laces his fingers together and looks at the ground, not wanting to see Aqua cry. 

Aqua smiles from the bed only looking to Namine, still stroking her blonde hair pulling it out from behind her shoulders. She moves away from her sister settling on sitting on the edge of Namine’s bed, still holding her hand. 

“What happened to her?” Aqua asked, the words knocking the wind out of Riku. He shifted in his seat and nodded to himself, trying not to get locked up in his own mind. 

“We were at a bar downtown, she left ahead of me. Sora and I left a few hours later and we found her in the parking lot. Someone had attacked her” Riku said his word sounded strained. They were almost painful leaving his mouth, with each word guilt seemed to build inside of him.

Aqua cried a bit, looking from Riku to Namine and holding her sister's hand tightly like a lifeline. Perhaps for Aqua holding her hand and knowing she was still alive, was the rope at sea that kept Aqua from sinking into the abyss, Riku had come to know that feeling all the well the last couple of days. 

Riku felt so uncomfortable it made him physically itchy, he laced and unlaced his fingers till finally he could stand it no longer. 

“I’m gonna grab some coffee downstairs, you want anything?” Riku asked, Aqua shook her head. Riku tried to walk so it seemed he wasn’t rushing away, but he cleared the room in a few seconds. 

Once out of Namine’s room Riku took a few deep breaths calming himself down a bit. The thing he had been praying for had come, someone that knows and loves Namine.

Despite it all, It didn’t feel like an answered prayer. 

The warm coffee did nothing to relieve the numb feeling that once again grew in Riku. Namine had someone, she wasn’t alone anymore. She didn’t need him. 

Riku could leave, he had been there for her, but how if he stayed he would just be some crazy obsessed stranger who was pretending to be her boyfriend. He needed to tell Aqua the truth. 

The door to Namine’s room was closed, Riku approached slowly, there weren’t any nurses around he could ask so he simply knocked on the door.

It opened easily and Riku saw a few nurses along with Aqua all by Namine’s side. Nurse Merryweather was angrily talking to Aqua, while Nurse Flora was giving Namine some liquids through her IV. 

“What happened?” Riku asked, looking at the chaos within the room, he had been gone only twenty minutes. Riku suddenly couldn’t hear any of Namine’s machines beeping, it filled him with panic. 

“That woman nearly pulled out Namine’s central line” Fauna says having opened the door for Riku to enter, Fauna was the kindest of the nurses and even she was upset. 

“It was an accident!” Aqua insisted, as Merryweather was laying into her. 

“Like hell” Merryweather says, and as Namine’s charts started to even out and the beeping started again. The return of the sound allowed Riku to breathe, the sound he had been relating to the oppression of their situation was now the only sound he connected with her being able to breathe. 

Aqua and Merryweather continued to argue but when Aqua stepped closer to the nurse Riku voiced his opinion. 

“Aqua, stop,” Riku said, shooting the three nurses a look of apology. “I didn’t really explain everything going on with her, she didn’t know,” Riku said, taking blame. 

“Namine is in a fragile state, she isn’t a rag doll you can hold to feel better” Merryweather said angrily, the other two nurses pushing the shorter nurse towards the door apologizing to Aqua. 

Before the Nurse Flora left she motioned for Riku, as Aqua was now back to holding Namine's hand and ignoring them. Riku walked closer to the door so the nurse could whisper to him.

"Make sure you keep an eye on Aqua, I shouldn't be telling you this, but the us nurses think you should know. Miss Namine had a restraining order on her for a few years, it expired last year so we can't ban her from visiting Namine but... just keep an eye on her" Flora says and Riku's plan to come clean is shattered. 

Once the door is shut again, Riku can hear Aqua sniffling and his eyes peek to see she is still holding Namine’s hand now. As sitting on her bed and moving her had been what nearly caused the central line to come out. 

“Thank you” Aqua says, finally looking back at Riku, he can barely look at her. Her eyes are red and she has tear lines down her cheeks, but she is still smiling. 

“Just don’t move her again okay” Riku said annoyed, he wanted to come clean and tell Aqua what had really happened, but he just didn’t trust her. Didn’t trust her to take care of Namine. In reality Riku didn’t want to leave the sleeping golden haired girl, he wanted to really know her. 

“No not that. They told me you saved her. That if you hadn’t been there, she would have died” Her voice cracked at the final word, Riku felt the guilt again, people were hailing him and Sora as her heroes, but as Riku sat there he felt like a villain. Hero’s don’t lie, heroes don’t pretend to be something they aren’t. 

Aqua stood and then hugged Riku as he had been still lingering near the door. The contact felt like ice on his skin. Riku had never felt worse in his life.


	3. A Beauty No Longer Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter sees Riku diving deeper into a fabricated relationship with Namine only for it to all crumble around him.

A week had passed since Aqua had arrived at Namine’s side. Riku’s time off work had ended and his life now consisted of going to work, showering and then heading back to the hospital to sit with Namine. 

Riku was freshly out of the shower and getting his bag ready to see Namine. He was in the kitchen grabbing a few odds and ends to eat while he was there when Sora walked in the front door with Kairi in tow. 

The friends had lived together since college, and they now both had jobs but found living together just easier. As Kairi would only live with Sora if she had a ring on her ringer, and neither were ready for that. 

“Hey Riku” Kairi said as she approached and stole an apple slice from Riku, making him smile a bit though he tried to look annoyed at the theft. 

“Kairi, do you not have food at your apartment?” Riku asked as he slid the bowl of apples slices over to the redhead, making her smile greedily as she took another and dipped it in peanut butter. 

“You actually have time to go shopping, I’m always studying and doing practical exams” Kairi whined, and Riku rolled his eyes as he grabbed an orange and put it into his bag and then spit his shoulder bag on. 

“Are you going back to the hospital?” Sora asked coming out from his room dressed in sweatpants and t-shirt rather than the business clothes that Sora loathed. 

The question banished the comfortable air between the friends. They all felt uncomfortable about Riku’s lying, but there was truly nothing to say for Riku to change his mind. Not that they didn’t try.

“Yeah,” Riku says stiffly, and Kairi sighed and Sora moved to stand next to Kairi. Both facing Riku, the kitchen island between them. Their faces held worry and judgment though they both tried not to show it. 

“Are you sure it is okay to be lying about being her boyfriend?” Sora asked Riku didn’t answer for a few seconds, Namine’s sleeping face flashed through his mind. 

“She doesn't really have anyone. I’m not gonna leave her alone” Riku said, and Sora looked to Kairi. Sora knew why Riku felt so strongly about Namine, he too remembered the sight of her bleeding out wordlessly asking for help. 

Sora knew Riku had been making eyes at the blonde all night before they had found her, but he worried Riku was falling the girl in his head rather than who she actually is. 

“Well, you said her sister showed up, she has someone” Kairi offered as she took a bite of apple. The redhead had only known what happened the next day from a very upset Sora. She couldn’t imagine finding someone like that, someone barely alive. 

“Aqua said they haven’t talked to each other in years, she only knew because the insurance company notified her,” Riku’s voice is bitter, he didn’t like Aqua.

“One of the nurses told me that Namine used to have a restraining order on Aqua, I don’t know what happened between them, but if Namine had to get the law involved I don’t think she’d want her around.” Riku says, his grip on his bag tightening. 

“Yeah, that sounds like a complicated relationship..” Kairi said backing off seeing the minor changes in Riku to signal he was upset. 

“I’ve just never known you to lie about anything,” Sora says, his voice tight, and the worry ringing loud and clear. 

“I know” Riku admits, the lying of it all made him sick to his stomach, but at the same time he refused to leave her alone.

Once Riku had closed the door headed for the hospital, Kairi groaned. 

“He is gonna get arrested for lying” Kairi says while getting up to put the dish in the sink. 

Sora scratched his head and looked at his hands, he should still imagine the blood on them if he thought hard enough. The moment he was trying to stop her from bleeding out was one he would never be able to shake.

“He is gonna fall in love with a girl he doesn't really know” Sora says with a sigh. 

_

Riku had started a new book, they were in the middle of it when Nurse Flora walked in. She looked around the room and found only Namine and Riku. 

“Good evening Riku” She says with a smile, he waves. Though he continues reading from the book. Riku’s eyes lifted from the page every few lines as Flora checked on Namine. 

There had been no improvement at all, and the nurses insisted to Riku it wasn’t a bad sign but it felt like they were lying.

Riku looked back to the book and continued reading line after line to a girl he doubted could hear him. 

“You can touch her ya know, she won’t break” Nurse Flora offered, Riku’s brow furrowed showing his confusion. He looked to Namine and then back to Nurse Flora. 

“Pardon?” Riku asked, and Nurse Flora shrugged as she was typing away on the electric chart. 

“Husbands either cling or become flies on the wall, she had a major incident and I know it wasn’t easy to find her like that, and waiting might even feel worse, but she is still here, you can hold her hand, it might help you both” Nurse Flora says and Riku feels tight chested. 

“Fauna suggested the books said it might help both of us also” Riku comments, looking at Namine, she was still so small. She had lost some weight since being bed ridden, her hands were so very small compared to his. 

“Did it help you?” Flora asked and Riku’s fingers stroked the pages of the book, he nodded absentmindedly. It had. He felt closer to Namine, like they shared something. 

“You are good with her, I promise she won’t break if you hold her hand” Flora says as she moves the machines back against the wall and puts Namine’s blanket back up. 

“Thank you,” Riku says, his book closed and his eyes looking to Namine’s hand. Flora stood slightly outside the door and smiled, all the nurses liked Riku, he came off as a quiet love sick boy, and it wasn’t that far from the truth. 

Riku leaned forward in his chair and looked at Namine, he hadn’t a clue where Aqua was, not that he was missing her presence. His chair was near her bed, she had always been an arms length away from him. 

He decided that for a few moments he just wanted to hold her hand. 

He slowly reached out and bridged the gap between them. His fingers sliding under hers, and his thumb resting on her knuckles. Her fingers were warm, and her skin was soft under his fingers. He left out a breathy sigh, then smiled. 

She was warm. Neither of them had blood on their hands. She was alive, it was this moment that Riku truly appreciated that she was alive. 

He turned her hand in his almost like they were having a thumb war. His finger was tucked under hers as if she was winning the game, he smiled slightly. 

“Riku” Aqua says as she enters the room from wherever she had been. 

“Hey Aqua” he says, but felt as though he should move away from Namine, but he didn’t. She was alive and he felt so clear holding her hand, as if all the horror he had seen done to her would come flooding back to him if he let go of her hand, so he didn’t. 

“You could actually beat her in a thumb war now,” Aqua said as if it was an inside joke as she looked at their hands as she hung up her coat, Riku laughed. Aqua seemed shocked by him laughing. 

“She is still winning even in her sleep” Riku said softly, “I think she always wins” Riku said adding the idea of Namine in his head, that she was competitive even over little things like thumb wars. 

“Wait, she does that with you?” Aqua asked as she took the seat on the other side of Namine’s bed. Her eyes were defensive, Riku had stumbled onto something he shouldn’t have.

Riku knew he should play confused, and Aqua would let it go, but Namine’s hand was wrapped in his. He had come to hospital to be there for her for nearly two weeks now, whether Riku admitted it or not, he cared an awful lot about Namine. The version of her in his head had him starstuck. In that moment Riku chose to be selfish and being selfish meant lying. 

“Yeah” He says easily, his eyes on Namine rather than Aqua. The tubes coming out of her mouth no longer made him uncomfortable, they were keeping her alive, keeping her hand warm beneath his. 

Then silence filled the room, Riku knew Aqua was waiting for Riku to continue. 

He could see it so perfectly in his head. 

“Anytime we can’t decide a restaurant, movie, or even who does the dishes,” Riku says softly. In his mind's eye he could see her, the girl from the bar. 

Her hair softly waved and pulled over one shoulder, she would outstretch her hand to him challenging war to decide if they sat at the bar or a booth. Her eyes would sparkle as she laughed when she won, as he always let her win. Her fingers would slip into the space between his so effortlessly after she got what she wanted, and drag him to a booth. 

Riku stroked her fingers, his eyes locked on Namine. Her eyes were closed, and she couldn’t smile with all the tubes in her mouth and her nose. He held on to her a little tighter as the dream of what they could be together faded back to reality. 

“She always wins,” Riku says, his smile sad. 

Aqua leaned back into her chair, wiping her eyes, and then a genuine smile spread across her lips. Riku finally looked at Aqua and raised an eyebrow in confusion. 

“She must really love you, that was something she used to do with her dad” Aqua says as she stood and tucked some on Namine’s hair behind her ear, then affectionately touching her cheek before returning to her seat. 

Riku’s eye followed Aqua's movements and then stayed on Namine after returned to sitting by her side. What would it be like for Namine to love him? At the bar she was shy but her eyes were warm and inviting, he had barely even spoken to her. He didn’t even remember her voice anymore. He wondered how she sounded when she talked, sang, moaned, or how she laughed. 

“I didn’t know she did that with her dad” Riku says and Aqua nods. 

“She was little when he died, it was one of the few things she said she remembered about him” Aqua says, she pulled her legs into the chair and wrapped her arms around them. The memories of childhood brought her some sorrow. 

“I knew she was a foster kid” Riku said softly, he knew because the nurses had told him. 

“She wasn’t very open about that, always would change the subject when people started to talk about their families” Aqua said with a sad smile returned to her face. They were speaking as if Namine was dead, it made Riku feel sick. 

“I can see that…” Riku said sadly, his fingers still stroking hers. 

They talked about Namine for a long time, eventually visiting hours were over, but the nurses always told them last as they had a sweet spot for Riku.  
Aqua got up and said she would use the bathroom and then head out for the night, Riku nodded. He hadn’t let go of Namine’s hand yet, he didn’t ever wanna let go.

Riku leaned his head against the wall, his eyes growing heavy, the routine of work and then the hospital on repeat was slowly killing him, of that he was sure. 

“I’m surprised one of the trio hasn’t come to forcefully kick us out yet” Aqua says as she is finishing wiping her wet hands off and sees Riku is fast asleep. She smiles softly. 

Aqua walked over to Namine’s bed and sat on the edge, careful of all her tubes and wires this time. She gently rubbed her sister’s leg through her blanket. She let out a breathy sigh, and a few sniffles trying to hold back her tears. 

“I’m sorry about the last time we talked, I didn’t mean to make you run away, I never thought, I just … “ Aqua says a few tears slipping down her cheeks and hitting the blanket. The constant beeping of the machines lured Aqua away from her tears. 

She looked over to Riku, he was still holding Namine’s hand loosely. He was a handsome man, he was quiet like Namine, and he was kind, Aqua had been rather short and crude with him the last week, and he hadn’t snapped or rebutted her in any way. Aqua smiled looking at them, Namine had finally found someone to share her little thumb wars with, someone she loved. 

“Riku is great, I’m glad you found someone to make you happy, I know you weren’t happy for a long time” Aqua said as she let a few more tears slip down her cheeks. Aqua hung her head, letting the floodgates loose, as she quietly let the tears freely fall down her cheeks. 

“I should have listened to you, back then… “ Aqua offered her fingers stroking Namine’s leg tenderly. Her gaze not really on Namine as the moment was hard for Aqua and looking into Namine's face would have made it harder. 

“I love you little sister” Aqua says, and as she finally looks back to Namine's face, she sees bright blue eyes opened for the first time in weeks. 

“Namine!” Aqua said loudly, as in the next moment, Namine was choking on the tube in her mouth. The sound woke Riku, and he looked confused between Namine and Aqua. 

“Riku, go get a nurse!” Aqua said and Riku jumped up panicking and flung the door open making it hit the back wall, the sound echoed down the hall. 

He saw Nurse Merryweather already getting up from the nurse station to scold Aqua and Riku for slamming her doors, but Riku looked panicked. 

“She’s awake, she's choking on the tube!” Riku said as Nurse Merryweather’s pager starts going off about Namine’s machines, she then is running down the hall to Namine’s room.

“I need both of you to wait in the lobby” Nurse Flora says as she runs into the room, while Nurse Merryweather was giving Namine a sedative to calm her down. 

“No! She is awake! I’m not leaving her again!” Aqua shouts.

“It is not an option” Nurse Flora says sternly, Riku stood outside the room and between all the people he could see Namine thrashing and trying to pull the tube out of her mouth and the wires from her arms, she had no idea what was going on, and she was panicking. Riku's hand were trembling, as the sound of her choking reminded him the dim parking lot and her blood on the concrete. 

“Riku, they can’t make us leave her!” Aqua says and Riku is stood frozen for a moment as his mind was trapped in the sound of Namine's chocked breathes. 

"Riku!" Aqua yelled, and he finally looked at her and he was pulled out of the desperate sounds Namine was making. He glared at Aqua, she wanted to help Namine, but she wasn't a nurse or a doctor. 

“Aqua, they need to help her, we will only be in the way” Riku says, his eyes unable to look at Namine struggle anymore. They were escorted away by an intern. 

_

Riku hated the waiting room more than he had hated any room in his entire life, and he had gone to summer camp as a child. Riku would trade this emotionless waiting room for the rat infested cabin just to escape the feeling of panic overcoming him. 

She had been awake. 

Aqua was pacing and complaining about how they should be with her, and how the doctors will only freak her out more. 

Riku was staring at the ugly flowers again, they looked worse this time. They looked like they were dying, as if the water had dried up inside the pitcher and the flowers were slowly drying out, losing all their color and life.

She definitely had been awake, but they had needed nurses to help her. Was she really okay? Was there a complication? Was she going to live? 

“Aren't you angry?” Aqua asked, sitting next to Riku with an expecting look. Riku shook his head, lacing and unlacing his fingers. He felt like he was back to the beginning. Waiting for someone to tell Riku she didn’t make it.

“I’m not angry” Riku said easily, he was too worried about her to be angry with Aqua, Aqua was angry because she wasn't the one to help her sister, Riku didn't care who helped her as long as she was alright. 

“She’s fine, Riku” Aqua says moving to touch his shoulder comfortingly taking the seat next to him, he wished she hadn't. 

“I read that a lot of coma patients wake up really suddenly and panic” she says and Riku nods, trying not to get emotional.

"Will she stay awake? I just -" Riku says his words leaving him, all the possibilities circled his head like moths. He wanted her to be okay, he wanted her to be healthy, he wanted her to be able to live again, and not because the machines she was attached to were technically keeping her alive. 

“She is awake, nothing bad will happen to her now" Aqua voiced sweetly as if it was a common knowledge and Riku was idiotic for thinking the worst. Riku just rolled his eyes and sighed, her words were condescending and unhelpful. 

"Come on it wasn’t that bad, she was just freaking out” Aqua says trying to minimize the incident. 

Riku looked at Aqua like she was an alien for a moment, Namine had been choking on the tubes in her mouth, she had been panicking but it didn’t stop the scene from being horrible and scary. Riku couldn’t understand how the ordeal had rolled off of Aqua like water on a duck’s back. 

“Aqua, she was choking on the tubes, I found her choking on her own blood, okay.” Riku said moving to stand up and Aqua looked ashamed for a moment. Riku let out a deep breath as he was Nurse Fauna approaching them. Aqua was quick to stand up as well. 

“She is awake, but she is a bit confused” Nurse Fauna says hesitantly, an unspoken secret behind her forced smile. 

“Confused how?” Aqua asked, crossing her arms impatiently. Nurse Fauna looked a bit uncomfortable. 

“The doctor will talk to you both before you can see her” Nurse Fauna says as they follow her. Aqua was looking at Riku confused and Riku shrugged, he was too busy worrying about if Namine was okay to feel the other shoe slowly descending onto him. 

The doctor met them a few steps from Namine’s room, the blinds of her window were drawn so Riku couldn’t look into the room. 

It was a different doctor than before. 

“Namine appears to have some memory loss. This is a very common occurrence with some coma patients, they are confused from the medications and it usually will return within a few days to a few weeks. That being said, let’s try to not overwhelm her, she seems unaware of her attack. We strongly recommend that neither of you talk about it with her until the police arrive next week” The doctor says and Aqua nods, the anger and confusion seemed to leave her body and she was docile and had her arms wrapped around herself slightly. 

“Can we see her?” Aqua asked and the doctor nodded. 

“She might be a little hazy, not seem like herself, we had to give her a sedative so she would calm down enough for us to remove the feeding tubes.” The doctor continued as he opened the door to Namine’s room. 

Namine was sitting up as Nurse Merryweather was checking her breathing and talking lightly with her. Aqua walked in first, the reaction from Namine was instant.

“Get out” Namine says angrily, her voice hoarse and breathy. 

“Namine, don’t…” Aqua started to say but was cut off by Namine yelling. 

“I don’t want you here!” She yelled, Nurse Merryweather had to stop Namine from falling off the bed in her rage filled shouting. 

Riku stood in the doorway as Aqua tried to talk to Namine, but the blonde was just yelling for Aqua to leave. Riku could see the tears down both of their cheeks. 

“Miss, I think you need to step out” The doctor said and Aqua pulled herself away from the door and closer to Namine. 

“Nami, please you almost died!” Aqua said pleading, her hands nearly touching Namine. 

“Don’t touch me… I am not your sister anymore” Namine said hatefully, and when the doctor grabbed Aqua’s shoulder gently she followed him out the room. Her eyes red as tears slipped down her cheeks, she no longer hid them. 

Aqua brushed shoulders with Riku as she walked out of the room, her face was twisted by the pain of the rejection, Riku was frozen. The event left only Riku, Namine and Nurse Merryweather. Nurse Merryweather was trying to calm Namine down, but she was in a panic asking why Aqua was even there. 

When Namine’s eyes finally looked at Riku, he feared she would remember him from the bar, or worse from her attack. Her eyes gave nothing away, and she looked at him angrily and confused. 

“Who is he?” Namine asked looking back to Nurse Merryweather, Riku was a statue and she was medusa. She had turned him to stone, his fear had come true. 

“Darling, he is your boyfriend, he has been here everyday for you” The nurse says softly looking at Riku with motherly affection, Namine looked back at Riku and started to shake her head. 

“I don’t know him…” Namine says, and then she holds her head. 

“I don’t remember being attacked.. I don’t know him, I don’t know why I am here!” She said as she started to sob her body curling in on itself, Riku backed out of the room breathing heavily. The doctor rushed in and closed the door behind him, and Namine was gone from Riku's view. 

Riku kept backing away from the door only to stop when his shoulders hit the wall behind him. He sank to the floor, staring at Namine's closed door. The other shoe had dropped and it was crushing him. She didn't know him, not that she should, reality had crushed his mental picture of them, of what they could be. His head sank down low, he was in deeper than he had ever meant to be. 

"Riku, come on get up" Nurse Flora says in a tone so soft and kind, it made him want to cry all the more. 

“She doesn’t remember me,” Riku says, as he puts his head into his hands, the small sliver of hope he had they she would know him, remember him from the bar was gone. He was truly nothing to het not even a passer by in her life, just nothing at all. 

“Oh Riku, you must give her time! You surely love her enough to wait a bit longer for her, she will be better tomorrow!” Nurse Flora says and Riku feels numb. 

“I’m a stranger” Riku mutters, the first time he had really told the truth in the hospital, and the words felt like a knife to his heart no matter how true they were.


	4. The Greater of Two Evils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namine is learning more about her missing time, and Riku is faced with the decision to come clean or continue to live the lie, while Aqua is struggling to connect with her sister.

Riku’s phone started to ring for the third time in the last half hour, he checked it only to see Aqua’s name on the screen. He let it ring. 

It had been three days since Namine woke up. 

Riku couldn’t bear to see her, he knew the reality he was in. He was hopelessly in love with a girl he didn’t really know at all. 

Riku had rushed out of the hospital, after Namine’s fit of crying. He felt hopeless. Aqua had been calling him non stop after he had left the hospital, even the doctor had called him a few times. He didn’t answer and he didn’t listen to their messages. He didn’t know what to say.

Riku leaned back in his chair, staring at the mockups on his desk he couldn’t focus. He worked at an architecture firm where at twenty-seven he was now a senior partner, and it was something he loved, but his mind was too filled with Namine to think about work. 

As soon as his phone stopped ringing, it started again. Riku groaned. Aqua was relentless, first she didn’t like him and now she was calling him every waking moment of the day. 

He looked at his phone, his fingers itched to answer it. He wanted to know anything about Namine, he wanted to see her. She was likely up and around by now, he wanted to actually talk to her and not a composed version of her like he had been for weeks. He needed to know how she was doing, at least that.

Against his better judgment he picked up the phone.

“Hello” Riku says easily, instantly regretting picking up the phone when Aqua started to yell at him. 

“Where the hell are you?! She is finally awake and you disappear?!” Aqua continues yelling, Riku can hear someone telling Aqua she needs to be more quiet and that she is in a hospital. 

“Aqua, I just … I don’t think I can...”Riku admits. He doesn’t want to look at Namine and know she isn’t his, they don’t have the relationship he invented in his head, she is a stranger to him too. 

“How is she?” Riku asked, suddenly cutting himself off from voicing the panic in his own mind. This was the only reason he had answered the phone, as long as Namine was alright, she didn’t need him. 

“She needs you” Aqua said more quietly, almost pleading. The statement collided with Riku deeply, making parts of his heart ache that had never ached before. 

“She doesn’t know me, the doctor says she lost up to six months of her memory” Riku says, his running lie was that they met three months ago, and if she lost double that time, if he had ever existed in her mind, he was gone.

“You are just gonna abandon her?” Aqua says the anger growing in her voice.

“Aqua I have to go” Riku says as he sees one of the members of his team approaching his office door, he moved to hang up but Aqua got the final word.

“Please, come today, I’ve been telling her about you, at least when she lets me talk to her, I think it might help her” Aqua says.

Riku feels selfish. He had decided he didn’t want her to be alone, and yet she really was. He had left Namine alone with a sister she apparently hated, and recovering from an attack she didn’t remember either. He knew Aqua and the nurses were telling Namine about him, yet he had left her. He felt torn.  
_

Riku was in the elevator at the hospital, his stomach was in knots from guilt and nerves. He should leave, he should tell Aqua and Namine the truth and let them hate him. He should, but as he walks down the hall towards Namine’s room, the other option rises in his head. She doesn’t remember him, and she likely never will. He could be there for her, as the boyfriend she forgot. Nobody would be the wiser, it was the greater of two evils. 

Nurse Flora saw him first, a smile spread across her face. 

“I knew you were one of the good ones,” Flora says with a wink, Riku relished in the compliment. He didn’t think of himself as good, but he didn’t know if he was bad either. Was it bad to lie, yes, was it bad to want to be there for someone that had nobody, no. He was walking a fine line, Riku felt he was balancing between good and evil, and it felt nice to be regarded as good even if through false pretenses.

“She is quite a bit calmer since the last time you saw her” Nurse Flora says as Riku’s feet linger with Nurse Flora and his eyes flicker down the hall to Namine’s room. 

“Has anything changed? Her memories I mean” Riku asked, the fear creeping that her memory would come back, both for the idea she would know he isn’t who he says, and then she would remember the horrible attack. He wished her memory would stay away just to spare her the pain of remembering, he would remember her lying there till he died, and he and Sora remembering would be enough. 

“No change, Doctor Saito always says memory is tricky, her memory could come back slowly or all at once, or… not at all” Flora says her tone didn’t spark any hope that her memory would return. 

“We truly don’t know,” Flora says, Nurse Flora was sympathetic as Riku was the one forgotten. 

Riku takes a deep breath and nods. 

“Go see her” Nurse Flora says motioning for him to move with her hands. He nods again, his feet moving slowly, as if he was treading through mud, every step he thought of reasons to turn around and leave. 

He can barely hear the nurses chatting at the nurse station, he hears Merryweather saying she is glad Riku is back, and the others humming their agreement. Namine’s door was open, he saw her sitting up on the bed, one of the many books he had been reading to her on her lap, her fingers lazily running along the edge of the pages. She looked so peaceful. 

Riku knocks on the open door to draw her attention. She turns to look at him, confused only for a second, then she seems to realize who he is. 

“I don’t know you” She says certain of herself, her eyes locked on him. Her voice revealed no emotions if she even had any related to him.

“I know you don’t” He says standing in the doorway, she had her hair tucked behind one shoulder and her eyes were so blue, he had forgotten how achingly beautiful her eyes were. 

She was just staring at him, he was at a loss for words. He looked to the book she was holding, a smile spread across his lips. 

“I read that book to you while you were… out of it” Riku says, not wanting to say coma or anything medical. She was holding the first book he had read to her. 

“I’ve never read it before” She says, with a small smile. Her eyes moving back to the book, she was nearly half way it seemed. 

“I like it” She adds quickly before Riku could say anything, he nods. 

“I thought you might,” He admits. 

It was awkward between them, Riku didn’t know what to say. What could he even say to her, he knew nothing about her. She was a stranger, and yet his heart was like a bird around her, beating fast like wings, but fragile like hollow bones. He leaned on the door slightly, afraid to come inside. 

“You can sit if you want,” Namine says finally after they hadn’t said anything for a long minute. 

“Are you sure? I understand, if you don't want me here” Riku says skeptically, the last time he saw her she was screaming and crying, he didn’t want to trigger anything for her. If she told him to go away, he would stay away.

“Please, I hate being in this room alone, or worse… with Aqua” Namine says a faint smile on her lips. Riku takes a few steps into the room, and moves to sit in the chair that he always sits in. The seat was very close to Namine, when she was asleep the proximity hadn’t bothered him but now that she was awake, he felt utterly too close and when she shifted in the bed to be a bit further from him, he didn’t comment. 

“I’m sorry Aqua is here, I didn’t know … that you guys… well” Riku struggled as he was the reason Aqua was allowed to stay. If he had known Namine and Aqua didn’t get along, he might not have let Aqua stay. 

“I’m sure you didn’t, I never thought I’d see her again, but she’s here and she definitely won’t leave now. She is stubborn like that” Namine says the annoyance of it playing out on her features, it made her eyebrows lower slightly and her faint smile faded away. 

“Yeah, she only called me about forty times a day so I think her being stubborn is an understatement” Riku says trying to joke, but it only made Namine’s stoic face turn into a frown.

“Well you left” She says bluntly, Riku felt his throat go dry. 

“They told me bits and pieces about you, they told me you were here everyday since I got here, and then you didn’t show up for three days” Namine says, Riku thinks she almost looks upset. 

“I’m sorry about that, I didn’t think you’d want to see me… You were really upset” Riku says truthfully, when she had woken up she had been near foaming at the mouth to get Aqua out of her room and then her anger was turned at him, he didn’t think he could take that anger a second time from her. 

“Yeah.. It wasn’t you, I didn’t want to see Aqua, you were collateral damage” Namine admits, she closes the book, and looks at the small pile on the side table, all the books Riku had read to her.

“You really read all of these to me?” Namine asked, it was an impressive pile of books, no title like the other, they ranged from fantasy to historical fiction. 

“Yeah I did, one of your nurses mentioned it might help” Riku admits, his eyes avoiding hers shyly, he had read to her a lot and out of context the large pile of books seemed crazy to have read in only a few weeks. 

“Well, I woke up so maybe it did?” Namine says a small smile on her face as her fingers again traced the spine of the book she was holding. 

“I’m just glad you woke up” Riku says, he smiles sadly, it was true. He had been so happy she had woken up, that she wasn’t only alive in just the clinical sense, but truly. 

“Me too” She says with a smile, a real smile. Riku felt the same spark he had when she had smiled at him in the bar, he was in over his head, but if this was drawing. He never wanted to be rescued. 

“Miss Aqua, she gets the dinner that she gets, she can only eat certain things!” Nurse Merryweather says as the nurse and Aqua enter the room, Merryweather having Namine’s dinner with her.

“I’m just saying that she can’t be getting enough nutrients from this flavorless sludge!” Aqua says referring to the soft food meal the nurse was holding. 

Aqua then saw Riku sitting in his seat, and she smiled walking over to him and then punched his shoulder. 

“That is for being an emotional jerk and not answering my calls” Aqua says and Namine lets out a huff of annoyance, 

“Will you stop it?” Namine says annoyed as she moves to allow Nurse Merryweather to move the meal tray over her bed and place the tray. 

“What? I thought he jumped ship?” Aqua said glaring at Riku, but then she smiled. “I’m glad you’re here” Aqua says more quietly. Riku can only nod. 

“Couldn’t stay away” Riku says, it was the kind of thing he would say knowing Namine couldn’t hear him, but when Nurse Merryweather made a sound of awe and Aqua groaned in disgust, he regretted it slipping out of his mouth. He snuck a glance at Namine, and her cheeks were dusted red as if she too was embarrassed. 

“Make sure you eat everything,” Aqua says, taking a seat next to Namine on the other side and Namine groaned and glared at Aqua.

“Aqua come on, let her be” Riku says and Aqua then rolls her eyes at Riku, but Namine smiles a bit. 

“She needs to eat, she needs to get better,” Aqua says looking to Riku. Riku knew Aqua was over protective and it was showing in a way that annoyed everyone, but he knew she meant well. 

“I’m fine” Namine says as she takes a few bites of the soft food they gave to her, showing Aqua she was indeed eating. Aqua seemed satisfied with it, and lowered her metaphorical guns. 

“Did anyone tell my job what happened?” Namine asked suddenly, she looked to Riku before she looked at Aqua. 

“Yeah, they know. Sent a card too” Riku said, moving to open one of the drawers on the side table with all the books, inside were a few cards she had gotten, one from her neighbors and another from her work. He handed them both to Namine. 

Namine smiled slightly, then looked to Riku again. 

“What do you do?” Namine asked curiously. 

“I’m an architect,” Riku says, Namine nods while processing the information. 

“Is that how you two met? Aqua asks and Riku looks at Namine and she takes a deep breath. 

“Can we not talk about that...” Namine asks harshly, taking a few more bites of her food and Riku nods while Aqua rolls her eyes. 

“Come on, he barely talked when you were asleep, and now he actually has to talk out loud, I’m just curious” Aqua says, goading both of them, Riku was annoyed and Namine looked down right angry.

“I really don’t want to talk about how I met the boyfriend I don’t remember, okay?!” Namine says angrily, looking at her food, her eyes showing her unshed tears. 

Nurse Fauna gave them all an exit from the heated situation when she knocked on the door saying visitor hours were over for today. 

“Namine, I’ll be here tomorrow morning” Aqua says as she leans in to give her sister a hug but Namine leans away, Aqua retreats and nods. 

“I love you little sister” Aqua says and Namine won’t meet her gaze and remains silent as she gathers her things to leave. Namine’s eyes trained on the window behind Riku. 

Riku puts his bag on his shoulder and smiles hesitantly at Namine.  
“Are you gonna come back?” Namine asks him as he is fixing the chair he has moved. 

“Do you want me to?” Riku asked, it was a loaded question. If she said no, he would never come back, and if she said yes, well Riku was afraid of her saying yes. 

“I don’t know,” She admits, and Riku nods. She bit her bottom lip thinking and then her hand touched his passing arm, making him stop from leaving the room just yet. 

“Were we happy together?” Namine asked, and Riku had never heard a silence so deafening after those words. The choice of evils again reared its head. 

He felt the world stop for a few moments. 

“I can’t speak for you, but … I can’t imagine being anywhere else” He says and it is so painfully true. Riku had dated before, but this, what was between them. It felt so indescribable. They had only talked a handful of times, but he felt so connected to her, maybe through only delusion but he couldn’t take his eyes off her at the bar or even now.

She had nearly died in a parking lot all alone, and now he never wanted her to be alone. 

She smiled slightly and then let go of his arm. 

“If you have time tomorrow... umm” Namine started and then seemed to lose her nerve or maybe her words. Riku smiled

“I’ll see you tomorrow Namine '' Riku said as walked out of the door, Namine was left smiling in her hospital room with a half finished dinner in front of her. 

Riku chose the greater evil, to lie to her and be in her life. He was too far gone to be able to let her go, and now he knew it.  
_

Riku did show up the next day, and the next after that, they sat and talked between Aqua trying to win Namine’s favor to no avail. Namine started to read all the books again slowly working through a few, and she joked that she would remember bits of it before she actually read it, saying Riku was just loud enough to read her brain. 

In a few days Namine was allowed to walk around, she was wobbly at first and had to have some help, but when she crossed the room all by herself Aqua cried and Riku smiled at her. 

Namine didn’t match up to Riku’s imagination, the real Namine was far superior. She was quiet but quick witted. The hospital was very routine, but everyday was so interesting and different because of her. 

Namine was making a lap around her floor when Riku had arrived, she was near the elevators so she was mid lap. She hadn’t seen him yet, she was wearing a pair of hospital sweatpants and a shirt that's too big for her, she pushed a walking aid ahead of her as she was still a bit wobbly, though she seemed to barely need it. She lifted her head and saw him, the smile that spread across Riku’s face was like breathing, it was so attuned in his brain he barely noticed he was doing it. 

“I’m surprised Aqua isn’t following after you like duckling” Riku comments, and Namine smiles at seeing him and lets a small laugh accompanied by an eye roll out at his joke. It had only been a few days since they officially re-met, they were kind to one another, Riku’s calm and laid back attitude balanced out Aqua’s obsessive and crazy one, seeing him always made Namine smile a bit. She didn’t know him, but she always seemed at least somewhat happy to see him. 

“The police are talking to her” Namine says shrugging, Riku raises an eyebrow. 

“I thought they were coming next week?” Riku asked, as Namine moved to pass a group of nurses lingering in the hallway, Riku instinctively put a hand on the small of Namine’s back as she seemed to struggle for a moment, it made her stand straight up, he quickly withdrew his hand. 

“Sorry” He says, but Namine smiled gently and didn’t say a word. 

They near her room, and Riku sees the police officers. He had talked to them the night of the attack, back when he had been in the waiting room covered in her blood, it seemed like such a long time ago. 

Namine slows down, Riku stops to look at her worried she over exerted herself. She wasn’t breathing hard, she was just staring at the police officers. 

“You okay?” Riku asked, trying to be as comforting as he could be in his tone. 

“I don’t remember anything, not you, not being attacked… I know they are gonna tell me, but I just, I want to forget it” Namine says as she touches her side, where the man had stabbed her seven times and what she nearly died from. 

“I don’t want you to remember either, it was bad,” Riku admits, his words choking a bit in his throat as he looked to the police officers, but Namine was looking at him perplexed. 

“Ms. Leer, are you ready to talk?” One of the officers says approaching the pair, Riku finally looks back to Namine, she was still looking at Riku, her eyes asking a question Riku couldn’t decipher. 

“It’s okay” Riku says softly, his hand itching to hold her hand, she was afraid and he knew he couldn't do anything about it, he refrained from touching her. It was one thing to be her fake boyfriend, it was another to touch her like a real boyfriend. 

Namine looked at the police officer slowly and nodded, she walked to her room, Riku followed her so he could help her into her bed, the part she still had some trouble with. 

Once Namine was sitting, Riku put his bag down as Aqua came out from the bathroom, her eyes red and wiping her running nose. Her police interview seemed to end in tears. 

“Mr. Yaoke, we can speak in the hall” The second officer said to Riku, he nodded while giving a passing glance to Namine, and followed the officer into the hall. 

The other officer then asked Aqua to step out so he could talk to Namine in private, Aqua who usually would fight to stay with Namine, only nodded her head and walked into the hall in passing mentioning getting a coffee. 

The police officer sat in Riku’s chair next to Namine’s bed, he was a broad man but shorter than Riku, him sitting in Riku’s chair seemed off to Namine, though she couldn’t pinpoint why. 

The police officer asked some basic questions asking her to confirm her identity and various minor questions, Namine’s eyes kept flickering to the open door where she could see the other officer’s and Riku’s shadows. 

“Do you recall anything from that night?” A police officer asked Namine, the question snapping her attention back to him, she wrapped a sweater closer to herself as she thought. 

Namine had woken up to a blank slate of her life, the last thing she could recall was going to work and trying new plants for her apartment, but she had been told that had been many months ago. She had small things she recalled, like smells, and odds and ends but not full memories. Like shadows behind a sheet, she could see the movements but had no idea what or where they were from. 

“No, I don’t. My memory is like a bad scrambled egg” Namine says, her face like a scared creature, she was worried she would never remember the last half year of her life. 

“How would your memory be like an egg?” The office asked with a raised brow having not understood Namine’s words. 

“It’s runny and all over the place” She says, trying to smile, but the officer looked at her with so much pity it filled his whole face. Namine had to look away from him or else she knew she would cry, she didn’t understand their looks, she didn’t remember what happened to her, she only knew the aftermath. 

“I don’t think I can be much help” Namine offers, from the window out the room that shows the hallway, she could see Riku and the other office walking and talking heading back for her room.

“We understand that, we mostly are here to talk to your boyfriend again” The office says in passing as he is writing down a thing or two in his small notebook. 

The confused look shows on Namine’s face again. What would Riku possibly know?

“Why?” She asked, and the office looked equally confused, and then his look of pity once again took over his features.

“Well.. He and his friend were the ones who found you. They saved your life” The officer said with a smile on his face, Namine had tears running down her cheeks. She had never felt like a more horrible person. 

She looked back to Riku and found he was also sneaking glances at her, a reassuring look on his face. She felt so warm under his eyes, something she had never felt before. She had been a foster child, an unwanted child, she had always felt unwanted, and the few times she had ever felt wanted by anyone it always blew up in front of her. She had only re-met Riku a few days ago, but she had never felt so secure or wanted before. She had woken up to chaos and confusion, but she always found that Riku was constant. His kind eyes and soft remarks were unwavering. Through Aqua’s rants, Namine’s crying and sorrow, and the nurses obsession with him, he was calm and quiet. 

“Are you alright Ms. Leer?” The officer asked, and Namine nodded as she wiped some tears from her face. 

“I’m fine” Namine says quickly trying to sound as though she truly was fine, but really feelings of self-hatred were starting to pooled in her stomach. Riku had saved her life, and the first thing she had said to him after waking up was yelling she didn’t know him. She remembered how crushed Riku looked, he backed away from her like a wounded dog afraid to turn it’s back and receive a fatal shot. 

The officer with Riku knocked the door then stepped into Namine’s room followed by Riku. 

“Thank you Mr. Yaoke, you’ve been very helpful” The officer said to Riku shaking his hand, the officer receiving a polite nod from the silver haired man. Riku’s shoulders were stiff and he seemed uncomfortable. 

“Ms. Leer and I aren’t finished, would you mind waiting outside?” The officer that was sitting with Namine asked Riku, and he nodded easily and went to grab his bag.

“Yeah, of course. I’m sure Aqua is terrorizing someone in the cafeteria right about now, gotta go save them” Riku says, but the joke was a bit forced sounding. The officers didn’t notice and chuckled, commenting Aqua's strong personality. 

“Can he stay?” Namine asked quietly, and Riku looked shocked, the officers looked at each other and the one that had been talking to Namine nodded hesitantly. 

“These could be potentially upsetting questions” The officer says airing on the side of caution. Namine only nodded and again requested for Riku to stay. 

“Whatever makes you more comfortable, Ms. Leer” He says politely, and Riku stands as one of the officers is sitting in his usual chair, Namine looked at him shyly trying not to meet his eye, Riku could see she was worried he would be uncomfortable, but Riku just gave her a reassuring smile and leaned against the wall, he wasn’t going to leave her. 

“Do either of you recognize any of these men?” They held up a picture of a man and then another and another until it reached a picture of which Riku waited for a few seconds looking at. 

“He was at the bar I think,” Riku said pointing at the picture, it looked vaguely like the man Riku had seen with Namine that night. 

“I couldn’t be sure though” Riku says, as truthfully he barely paid attention to the man Namine was with, she was much more eye-catching that her company had been. 

The police officers looked to each other almost in agreement of something. 

The police kept asking questions and Namine continued to give them no answers because she simply didn’t know. Eventually the officers thanked them both for their time and left the pair alone again. 

Namine left out a large sigh as she put her head in her hands, Riku felt horrible for her. She had a traumatic event she didn’t remember and all anyone wants to do is bring it up to her. Riku too relaxed and he moved to sit in his usual chair near Namine, he cracked his neck trying to expel all the tension trapped there. 

“I’m so sorry” Namine mumbles from the barrier of her hands, breaking the tense silence left once the officers had departed. 

“What do you have to be sorry about?” Riku asked confused, leaning forward in his chair so that he was a bit closer to where Namine was hiding her face. 

“I freaked out when you walked in the first time, and I can’t remember you… You saved me life and I can’t remember you” Namine says her voice signalling she was crying now. 

Riku had the idea turning in his head for days, telling her the truth, telling her he was just another guy in the bar, and hoping she would understand let him stay with her if only to help her get back to her old self. Seeing her so heartbroken over not remembering him, he knew he had to tell her the truth. The greater of two evils, was selfish. 

“Actually about that -” Riku starts but is cut off by Aqua walking into the room, two cups of coffee in her hands. 

“Namine, how are you? Were the police nice to you?” Aqua loudly asked, brutally killing Riku’s courage to tell the truth. 

“I’m fine, Aqua” She says harshly, Namine lifting her teary face to look at Aqua and roll her eyes and then putting her head back into her hands. Namine didn’t want Aqua to see her being vulnerable, she didn’t want to share any parts of herself with Aqua.

“Kingdoms, I knew those officers would make you upset. Thank the king we can leave in two weeks, Twilight Town will be far enough away that you won’t have to think about this ever again” Aqua says, and happily, as she extends a cup of coffee out for Riku to grab. 

Namine nearly snaps her neck to look at Aqua

“No” Namine says coldly. 

“The doctor said after two weeks you should be good to come home, I don’t want you to be alone so I’m thinking you should come back to Twilight Town, temporarily! I already know what you are going to say” Aqua says, sitting on Namine’s bed, making Namine pull herself away from Aqua, almost falling off the bed to get away from her. 

“No,” Namine repeats even colder.

“Nam, don’t be like that. You shouldn’t be alone in your condition and -” 

“She isn’t alone” Riku says angrily, it was his turn to cut her off.

“Of course, I know that - but I think she just needs to come home and heal. Especially with her not remembering you very well” Aqua said with a soft pleading smile aimed at Riku, it only made him angrier. Namine said no, and if she said no it meant, no.

“I am staying here, I will not go back to Twilight Town” Namine says as she moves to get off the bed and nearly falls only stopped by Riku grabbing her. Aqua stands up to help Namine, but she moves more into Riku, leaning into him for support. 

“Aqua, I need you to leave” Namine says as Riku is helping her stand alone, but she keeps her back against him, Aqua goes to touch Namine, but Riku puts his hand between them stopping Aqua from moving. Namine was grateful for Riku’s gesture of faith. 

“Aqua, I think you should go for now,” Riku says as Namine had very clear boundaries with Aqua, and she had overstepped them and Riku wasn’t going to let Aqua continue it.

Aqua backed away and looked very upset, but both Namine and Riku were stone faced, and not budging. She wordlessly grabbed her bag. She spared the pair a glance over her shoulder as she left the room. 

Once Aqua was gone from the room, Namine seemed to go slack a bit, leaned forward onto the bed. Riku gave her a hand as she moved to get back into her bed. 

“She’ll be back tomorrow,” Namine says in a defeated voice, all emotions Namine had masked in front of Aqua were now streaming out of her. She wrapped one of the blankets tightly around herself and she let out shaky breaths. Her mind was very far away. 

“I think I need you to leave too…” Namine says her voice, like shattered glass. 

Riku knew nothing about Aqua and Namine’s relationship, or why they were so explosive to each other. He wants to reach out to her, but he didn’t want to break her anymore than she already was at that moment. Sometimes people just need time and silence, and Riku would give Namine anything. 

He grabbed his bag and gave a passing glance to Namine, but her eyes were training on the end of her bed. Riku pulled another book out of her bag, he had meant to give it to her today, he put it on the table with the rest of the books. 

“Something to keep your mind occupied” Riku says, he waits for a response and sees he isn’t getting one. He leaves without another word. 

Once she was alone, Namine cried. She cried as if the world was ending, because for her it was crashing and burning all around her.

As Riku entered the elevator, he had decided once and for all. 

If the greater of two evils meant staying by her side, that was what he was going to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit I am in love with this story and I simply can't stop writing it. Next week I will be coming out with another Namine and Riku story so look out for it!


	5. Heroics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Namine's release from the hospital quickly approaching, and the 'sisters' at odds, Riku finds himself trying to distract Namine from Aqua, all the while Namine is guilt torn that she can't remember her seemingly perfect boyfriend.

The blowout with Aqua had taken its toll on the women, Riku didn’t understand what happened, or why Twilight Town was the physical embodiment of hell to Namine, but he knew better than to ask. 

Aqua was hovering over Namine constantly, and the poor girl was going insane. Riku thought after a few days that Namine was actually going to kill Aqua with a hospital spork and not even bother to make it look like an accident. 

The silent tension that had always been present with the sister had now increased to unbearable levels, where Riku usually could lighten the mood he found himself just talking aloud almost to an empty room. Both women barely acknowledged him, Namine was ignoring everything while Aqua was in the room, while Aqua didn’t pay attention to anyone who wasn’t Namine. 

Eventually Riku couldn’t stand it, it had been two days and they seemed at a stalemate. Riku of course was on Namine’s side, no matter what. He didn’t need to know the reason for their animosity. He was gonna support his girlfriend. 

They all sat in Namine’s room not saying a word, today was particularly bad. Aqua was angry about something and even the nursing staff was silent as they entered and exited the room. Riku felt like bugs were crawling under his skin as he tried not to twitch under the unyielding pressure of the room, caused by the two. 

Aqua huffs annoyed and stands pulling on her jacket, zipping it up overly dramatically and then swings to look at Riku, her face showing all her frustrations, but not directed at him. 

“Wanna come to the cafeteria, she is in a mood” Aqua says and Namine swiftly looks up from her book. 

“Fuck you, go home” Namine says with a smile that could rival a villain’s. Aqua made a noise of disgust and then looked to Riku, showcasing that Namine was indeed in a mood. 

Riku looked between them, both were now looking at him. He felt odd, Aqua wasn’t one to ask him to come with her on a good day let alone a bad day. If she thought that Riku would ever agree that Namine should go where she didn’t want to, Aqua had another thing coming. 

“I’m alright” Riku says, and Aqua nods, her eyes a bit guarded, Riku had disappointed her, but he didn’t care too much, as Namine smiled a bit. He felt like he lived to make her smile. 

Although it was a smile you give to someone when you have bested them or to say ‘I told you so’, it wasn’t her usually cheerful smile, but Riku hoped Namine at least knew he was on her team. Always. 

Once Aqua had shuffled from the room, Namine returned to reading her book. Riku was bouncing his leg, his eyes on the window that showed the hallway, he was watching people walk past. 

“Come on” Riku said as he stands and extends a hand to her, Namine looks up from her book once again and sighs.

“Riku, I don’t want to go talk to her,” Namine says looking back to her book, turning the page. 

Riku shifted his weight to lean on her bed, he cocked an eyebrow slightly. 

“Well, I was gonna take a lap outside since someone is now allowed to go to the courtyard, but yeah, if you wanna stay here for when she gets back be my guest” Riku says as he gets his jacket on, he misses the smile that spreads on Namine’s face, but he looks back to her and it felt like looking into the morning sun.   
“You are the best,” Namine says as Riku goes to hand her a pair of hospital shoes for her to wear. Namine hadn’t been outside since she woke up, and she had been given the option to go into the courtyard but she needed to either have a staff or family member with her, and she wasn’t going to ask Aqua, and Namine felt bad asking for nurses help all the time as it is. 

Aqua returns to an empty room, and the nurses all conveniently don’t know where the pair had gone off to when Aqua asks, the blue haired woman sits in Namine’s room angry, while Namine and Riku walk around the outside of the hospital and Namine swears sunlight can cure all her broken pieces. 

Whenever Aqua would leave the room for any reason, she would come back to an empty room as Riku would help Namine up and they would go walk around the floor a few times or outside weather willing. 

“Heading out for another stroll I see” Nurse Fauna comments with a smile, Namine laughed lightly, she was in step with Riku, it had been three days since they had started ditching Aqua left and right. Namine was so grateful for Riku during all of this, he truly felt like much more than her boyfriend, he felt like a partner, someone who supports you and is in your corner. Namine couldn’t recall the last time she thought someone was on her side. 

“Aqua is being a monster today, she is convinced I need to drink this herbal tea and it will help my small intestine” Namine says and the Nurse looks confused.

“She does know that you have a colostomy bag right? The tea will never reach your intestines” Nurse Fauna explains, and the pair nods feverishly. 

“Try telling her that,” Riku says with a shake of his head as Riku was now fully experiencing the frustration that is Aqua since Namine had woken up, it made her smile. 

They continued past the nurses station, Namine could walk almost entirely on her own again, she would grab Riku’s arm every now and again, but it was impressive. He was proud of her.

It was raining lightly outside so the pair stayed on Namine's hospital floor, they had braved further and tried to sneak to the pediatrics floor to see babies, but Nurse Merryweather had yelled at them, well she yelled mostly at Riku. Riku had to look at the ceiling to stop himself from laughing during the ordeal. 

They stayed on light topics like Riku’s job, hospital related stuff, Aqua in small doses, but Riku tried not to bring up anything related to her attack or her lack of memory. Though, today Namine surprised him.

“I think I'm ready to hear about us,” Namine says, her eyes on the floor watching where she is stepping, Riku raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“What do you wanna know?” Riku hesitantly asked, Namine thought for a moment, leaving Riku in suspense. He knew he was going to lie, he had no choice, he was in love with her and his mortality was forgotten the night she had fought with Aqua. He wanted to be there for her, no matter the means.

“Do we live together?” She asked, she knew she had gotten a new apartment and Namine secretly hoped that she had kept it and not moved in with Riku. 

“No, you like your space” Riku says, and Namine looks physically relieved by the answer. 

“What? Is the idea of living with me that bad?” Riku teased and Namine turned a bit red, and quickly defended herself.

“Not at all, I’m just glad that I didn’t miss it. I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before…” Namine says gently, her eyes darting around the hallway, while Riku snuck glances at Namine from the corner of his eyes. He didn’t say anything in response. 

“I mean plus my apartment is beautiful and you would have wrecked it” Namine says and Riku laughs easily.

They rounded the corner almost nearing her room again. 

“How did we meet?” She asked the smile still on her lips. 

“You were buying drinks at a bar downtown,” Riku said and Namine rolled her eyes, at the simplicity of it.

“What did you buy me a drink or something?” Namine continued unimpressed. When Namine had imagined meeting Riku she had thought it would be something creative and different not, something so casual and cliché. 

“No, you already had a drink. I dropped my wallet. You thought I was making a move on you, but I just lack the ability to hold more than two things” Riku smiled and when Namine laughed he knew he was in the clear. It was close to the truth just with the roles reversed. 

Namine could picture it, her turning around with drink in hand to see Riku leaning down to pick something up and when he looked back up he found her staring at him with an annoyed look on her face. She would comment on how unoriginal it was to pretend to drop something to start a conversation and Riku would look genuinely confused. 

Namine smiled at the idea of meeting Riku, she wondered what she had thought of him. What had she noticed first about him, his hair most likely. It was a dusty silver color and it reminded Namine of when liquid metal was being poured, it was shiny and almost begging to be touched. Or perhaps his eyes. She loved to look at his eyes, she had never known anyone with such pigmented green eyes. Namine was extremely jealous of them. 

“Oh god that’s so embarrassing, I’m sorry” Namine laughs, as she starts into her room, Riku opening the door for her and touching the small of her back once again, this time neither of them apologized or even acknowledged the small gesture. 

Where Aqua and Namine were storms raging against one another, Namine and Riku were like the land and the tide. Riku was the stagnant beach always there, while Namine was the tide, she would swell and then pull away, but always rise again. Riku found that Aqua pushed enough for the both of them, Riku had become Namine refuge, he would come in and make the hospital room feel not so small. 

Namine started to count the minutes till Riku usually arrived, when he was early she was overjoyed and when he was late even by a few minutes she was a bit annoyed at him, though he never mentioned her easily shifted attitude. 

“Can I have your phone number?” Namine asked one day when Riku was arriving a few minutes later than he normally would, he had a coffee in hand, likely why he was a bit late. Namine took in his confused face, the tips of his bangs looked wet from a shower, and he was wearing a yellow cardigan sweater that Namine was debating stealing before he left for the day. It would only be fair, as he was late. 

“What? I mean, of course, but your phone is still police evidence” Riku says as he sits down next to her bed, she swings her legs off the bed towards him, looking into his green eyes. His eyes were by far her favorite feature on her boyfriend. 

“I have a hospital landline” Namine says pointing to the white phone sitting behind the growing stack of books, Namine had never heard it ring before, she wasn’t sure if it even worked. 

“Yeah, you do” Riku nods only barely convinced and Namine smiles and hands him a pen and some scrap paper she clearly tore from one of the various books. 

He shakes his head and writes his cell phone number inside the front cover of the first book he had read to her, since he had been right about one thing, Namine was a bit forgetful. She would start reading then ask Riku something, then forget where she was in the book, or get up to do something, get distracted and forget her task, and she was notorious for losing things. It was incredibly cute to Riku. 

“Will you remember what book it is in?” He asks handing it back to her, she looks at his number written in neat handwriting. She gives him an eye roll and Riku smiles, his head leaning on his palm. 

Namine felt weak, the way he looked to her was unmatched. She had boys who said they loved her, she had loved before, but every look, every gesture, Namine could feel his feelings though he never said them. She knew. 

It broke her heart, to think she likely looked at him like that once also, and now she barely knew him. 

“It was the first book you read to me, right?” Namine asked her voice hesitant and uncertain, Riku noticed the slight change in her.

“It was” Riku confirmed, it had been a book staring at him on a display and he was glad she had liked it. 

“It was pretty sad though, I mean Dominic lost his baby and Thomas well… he lost a hand” Namine says fingering through the pages, the comment made Riku laugh. 

“Nurse Fauna told me reading might help, it was the first one I saw” Riku tried to defend, Namine only rolled her eyes playfully as they talked about the book. It was nice, Namine found herself staring at Riku as he talked about Dominic’s house painting career, and Namine wasn’t hearing a word. She was wondering if they had ever done this before, had they argued about the book, was she the same as before, or was she different. 

The day continued but Namine’s mind whirled inside her head, thinking of what they were before, how she had felt, if she had loved him. As she looked at Riku, she could see how easy it would be to love him, but she knew she might be too difficult to love now or maybe she had been even before and yet he still had come to love her. She wondered how much he knew about her life, and how much she had hidden from him. She wished desperately to remember him, anything at all about him. 

They had talked about books for hours, annoying Aqua as she couldn’t get a word in edgewise. The couple learned a lot about each other. When Riku and Aqua had left for the night, and Namine was alone in her hospital room again she noticed the yellow cardigan was laying in Riku’s chair, she smiled and eagerly grabbed it. She wrapped herself in it, and she smelled the sleeves of it, her eyes darting around like she was stealing cookies from the jar. She smiled and closed her eyes, again smelling his sweater. 

The tears came easy as she tried desperately to remember anything. Riku’s eye held such love for her and yet … it was blank for her. She buried her face into his sweater.   
_

Riku was again sitting at his desk working on the weight distribution for a building and along with other number reliant building measures when his phone started to ring, he saw it was Namine’s hospital room, or rather Namine herself calling him. He had given his number to her a week ago, her calling was now daily. 

He had another hour or two before he would head over to the hospital, he quickly picked up the phone and put it between his shoulder and his ear as he continued to work. 

“I promise I will be there in two hours max” Riku says into the phone, she usually would laugh at that, but she didn’t make a noise. Riku looked at his phone to make sure he had actually answered it, and he indeed saw he had, but she hadn’t said anything yet. 

“Namine?” He called her name hoping to encourage a response. 

“I need a favor” She says, speaking low almost in secret. 

“What exactly do you need?” Riku asked hesitantly

_

The hospital was as busy as it normally was, but Riku was walking much faster than he normally was, and when the nurses greeted him he only waved, not stopping to chat like he normally would. He passed them and Quickly walked to Namine’s room. 

Riku closed the door behind him, his shoulder bag was bigger than it usually was, Namine was smiling ear to ear at him. Riku fights off a smile and pulls out a rather greasy looking paper bag showing it to her.

“It seems you are my hero every day” Namine smiles and greedily takes the bag from Riku’s hands, practically dumping all the food out on her meal tray. 

“Oh god kingdoms, I missed greasy food” Namine moaned as she took a bite of her burger, while Riku settled down in his seat next to her bed and stole some of her fries from her tray. 

“Are you sure it is okay for you to be eating this?” Riku asked with a smile at her to counteract her glare from stealing her forbidden food that he was still chewing on. 

“No high sugars, gaseous, high fiber, or alcoholic food or drinks.” Namine says taking another bite of her burger, getting mayo on her nose

“So we are only hitting three out of four, awesome” Riku said annoyed clearly unhappy with what she was doing but didn’t say anything as she rarely asked anything of him. 

He smiled seeing the condiment of her nose, and he flicked his nose showing Namine she had something on her nose. She wiped her nose saying thanks before putting her burger down and looking at him with a comfortable look on her face. 

“How are you feeling? Namine asked, she was crossed legged and wearing the yellow sweaters Riku had ‘accidently’ left behind and claimed as her own, Riku had known she wanted it as she kept eyeing it the day he wore it. She looked more and more real and alive everyday.

“You are the injured one, how are the head and the stomach?” Riku countered. He wasn’t the important one here. 

“People are constantly asking me how I'm doing, every day three times a day, I'm just wondering how you are? You go to work and come here every day, it must be tiring” Namine says. She was feeling guilty, as he had a life outside this hospital room, but he was here everyday, barely ever late, and always there for her. She worried nobody was there for him.

“Being with you certainly isn’t tiring, I’m fine” Riku says, stealing more fries, and barely escaping Namine’s attempt to swat his hand away from her fries. He grinned as he popped them into his mouth, her face matched his. 

It was a sweet moment between them, but Riku could see how the moment twisted in Namine’s mind, anytime they had a moment like this, she would only be reminded that she was missing pieces. It filled Riku with guilt. 

“I got you something else actually” Riku says, as he reaches for his bag searching inside of it. His voice broke her out of the guilty moment in her head, and she cocked her head slightly refocusing her attention on him. 

“You really don’t need to sneak me more food, I think Merryweather will strangle you if she finds out” Namine says trying to make a joke. 

“Good thing it isn’t anymore food” Riku says as he pulls out a phone box. Namine asking for his number had sparked an idea in Riku’s head. Her phone had been crushed during her attack and had been evidence and apparently been even more damaged at the police station when he had called to ask. It seemed a new phone was inevitable. 

“Riku, this is too much. I could have gotten my new one when I was discharged” Namine says as she turns the box over in her hands, then puts it back in his hands. 

“It’s already done, I tried to have your old data transferred but the guy at the store said it wasn’t backed up, so I couldn’t get your contact or pictures, I’m sorry” Riku says, handing her the phone box. She took it from him and it was a blank slate. 

It was a double-edged sword, Riku was happy her phone was ruined because then it was like she really had no proof that they weren’t a couple and it sickened him that he was relieved by that. 

“It is weird I’m glad?” Namine asked, looking to Riku. He had to hide his shock, she had a habit of saying things right after he thought them. 

“Glad that I got you a major upgrade, it is almost like I'm introducing you to modern technology” Riku joked as she had a very old phone, and he had gotten her one of the newest gummy phones.

“Hey, I liked that phone!” Namine says faking an offended expression. 

“Dinosaur” Riku muttered, rolling his eyes for effect, her hand lightly hit his shoulder, only making him smile. 

“No, I’m glad I don’t have anything to compare us to. I don’t remember you and they are worried I won’t be able to. I’m just glad I won’t have to read or see a version of you and I that I don’t know about” Namine says with a sad smile as she boots up the phone and sees the logo. 

Riku smiles despite the burning guilt in his stomach, he chose this. He chose to lie to stay by her side, and her smile soothed the pain that lying to her caused but the guilt was far from gone.

They start setting up her new phone, getting her fingerprint and voice command set up, they download apps and add a few contacts she needs like her new doctor, her job, Aqua, and of course Riku.

“Welcome to the modern age” Riku mutters as he hands her phone back after putting his number inside of it, per her request. 

Once the phone was back in her hands, she opened the camera and took a quick picture of Riku, he isn’t looking in it, but Namine smiles, and Riku is confused. 

“New picture, new start” She says happily, Riku smiles, and when her fingers brush his that are still resting near her fries ready to thieve again. He smiles as their fingers lace naturally. 

“So you don’t steal anymore of my fries” she says her cheeks dusted red. 

Namine wanted to move forward and stop lingering in the past, this phone was a new start and she would take it. Riku never brought up the past unless she asked, he never seemed upset or angry at her for not being able to remember, she was the one holding on to the past. When Namine held Riku’s hand she realized, the past might not matter so much, he was here. He wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Whatever you say” Riku teases a lazy smile on his face, his eyes still lingering on her fries making her laugh. 

They spend the rest of the visit playing games on Namine’s phone. Namine learned Riku is terrible at scrabble as spelling was not his strength. 

When Nurse Flora came to tell Riku visiting hours were over, she found Riku asleep, with his back on the head board of the bed, his head lying slightly turned on the top of it, his size made Namine seem even smaller as leaned on him, her fingers moving as she typed on her new phone. 

“Namine, he needs to be going soon” Nurse Flora says quietly, Namine looked at her and smiled nodding. 

Flora stepped into the room when she saw the remains of the fast food, her lips curled ready to scold Namine, but Flora saw that Namine was so happily curled up next to Riku. The girl that had cried screaming she didn’t know him, was curled up against him like a cat trying to get warm. Flora rolled her eyes lovingly, only offering Namine gave her a look of warning and Namine smiled guiltily in response. 

“Don’t make me ban your boyfriend from the floor” Flora said with no real threat behind her words, Namine moved slightly as she rolled her eyes at Flora and Riku shifted in response so his head was now fully leaning on top of hers. 

“You wouldn’t, all of you love him” Namine says and Nurse Flora shrugs, as they both knew it was true.

“He is one of the better ones to have hanging around, he brings us coffee and actually thanks us” Flora admits with a smile. Namine was a bit sad that such a simple gesture as saying thank you was often skipped. Namine knew she often forgot to thank them, but Riku never did. 

“He’s sweet like that,” Namine says with a smile, her hand gently touching Riku’s arm. He was kind, caring, and respectful to a fault. Namine’s heart swelled with emotions she knew all too well. She met Nurse Flora’s eye. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Namine asked and Flora nodded as she collected the contraband food and started to take Namine’s numbers down on the chart. 

“I have the biggest crush on him,” Namine admits, and Flora covers her mouth to muffle her laugh so as to not wake Riku. Namine knew she had a crush on him, not full blown love, not anything close to it, but she liked him an awful lot. It felt good to finally say out loud. 

“I’m glad, I was worried for him,” Flora admits as she is taking down some of Namine's numbers from the few machines she still had left attached to her. 

“Worried about what?” Namine asked, she was in such a glow around Riku, he seemed so perfect, so steady, and everything a girl needed a guy to be. 

Nurse Flora looked at Riku and smiled, then looked to Namine with the same youthful look, likely remembering a young romance herself. 

“I feared that boy wouldn’t be able to handle the heartbreak of losing you, I’ve seen men in his position before and they either run or make themselves the victims, neither of those are wrong but, Riku didn’t do either, he was just here for anything you needed him for” Flora says smiling, Namine had a smile on her face but tears in her eyes. 

“I wouldn’t want that to happen” Namine says, leaned into Riku more, her constant movement woke him up, his green eyes blinked awake as he looked around, he realized where he was and moved away from Namine quickly. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… Hello Nurse Flora'' Riku says, quickly recovering but his cheeks were a bit red. Namine frowns slightly at the loss of his warmth and comfort. 

“Hi, Riku staying a bit late aren’t we?” She asked in passing as she moves to leave the room

“Shit” Riku says under his breath looking guilty. Namine’s eyes go a bit wide, she had never heard Riku swear or anything even close to a swear before. 

“Sorry Nurse Flora” Riku calls as she leaves the room, Namine smiles. Watching as the nurse disappears from the room, a youthful smile on Nurse Flora’s lips. 

He was so flustered from being caught sleeping next to her, and Namine couldn’t find it any cuter. Riku’s chin length silver hair was ruffled up from sleeping, and it made Namine feel a little protective over him. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep… Especially on you, fuck” Riku says overthinking the whole situation. Namine moved to stand on her knees, thankfully the bed was raised enough so that she was nearly eye level with him, she touched his hand and smiled sweetly to him. 

“It’s fine, I was very comfortable,” Namine says, her eyes flickering to his lips, she had a crush on him. She knew he had feelings for her from all the small gestures he did for her, all the unspoken words in his eyes. 

Namine felt the moment build as Riku looked at her lips as well, seemingly stepping closer to her, his knees hitting the bed. All they had to do was lean, she could pull and he could push. 

They were a breath away from each other. 

The moment was too real for Riku, she was too close. It felt too intimate. He knows her, he thinks about her constantly, but the guilt that once was a pool inside of him was now an ocean and he knew if he leaned now, he would drown. 

Riku took a step back from Namine, a sheepish smile on his face. While Namine was left in a tailspin as to why he pulled away from her, this would have been the moment Namine had been waiting for, to see if her feelings were in her head or if they were real, if they had the spark between them she kept feeling when she looked at him. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow” Riku says with a smile, but Namine was still standing on her knees facing the space he had just left. 

She was shattered all over again, she had been picking up the pieces of her life, slowly trying to understand what she lost, and being ready to accept that she might never know. She wanted to move forward, she wanted to move forward with Riku, he had been with her for nearly a month almost everyday, and yet, he pulled away. The beach pulled away from the tide, and it was leaving her with earthquakes in her mind. 

“Riku” Namine said, turning towards him. Her voice had stopped him from evading the situation, he looked at her, his expression almost pained. 

“Did I do something wrong?” She asked and she saw the panic grow in Riku’s face. 

“No, no, no” He repeated but he didn’t come closer to her though he desperately wanted to, he stayed planted by the door. He wanted to hold her, cup her cheeks and stare into her eyes and forget all the guilt that was invading his soul like a virus. 

“It is just… a lot... I don't want to push it.” He admits and Namine could understand it, but it didn’t make it hurt less in the moment. He was worried about touching her and making his lies real though she didn’t know it.


End file.
